Since accepting jobs in Saudi Arabia, I've had numerous people ask me how I could live in a country that takes away women's rights. Many can't understand why I'd go somewhere where I would have to wear a black abaya when in public. Now that I've lived here for almost 8 months, I've had plenty of time to ponder the situation I find myself in.
When I first arrived, the heat was intolerable. We were seeing temperatures in the 120's and wearing a black abaya that covered me from the neck down, not allowing any air flow, seemed absolutely ridiculuous. I noticed all the men wearing their white thobes (long robes) and wondered to myself why they couldn't at least let the abayas be white. I found myself disgruntled and angry at the men. The only consolation I could find for myself was at least I didn't have to completely cover and by that I mean I didn't have to wear a burqa that covered my face and eyes from the world.
That being said, there were things I liked about the abaya. I could wear whatever I wanted underneath the abaya with no care in the world. Some expats talked of wearing their bikinis underneath in order to beat the sweltering heat. Although I never wore my bathing suit (in fears that my abaya would unsnap) I did take advantage of wearing my pj's and mismatched clothing underneath. On numerous occasions, Jordan would ask me, on the way out of the house, "you're wearing that?!" and I'd look down at my sheer nightie and say with a smirk, "yeah". He'd then remember, as I put my abaya on, that I had to cover.
As the weather became pleasant and I became more comfortable in the abaya. I had more time to reflect and not be so emotional due to my heat exhaustion. As I spent numerous hours in doctor's waiting rooms I looked at these women and wondered what their lives were like. How did they feel about covering? What did they think of me? What did they think of women in the states and other western countries who were uncovered in public?
I began to think of our societal (U.S.) pressures and what is expected of women. I've never been one to be fashionable or wear the latest trends. It always takes me years to catch on and decide to like the trend that was trending years before. I guess I'm old in my ways. I wear what I like and what is comfortable. Some would even say I dress conservatively. I guess I don't feel the need to show cleavage and bare legs... Our country puts these things on a pedestal and we care way too much about our looks and fashion. Why do our clothes have to represent who we are? If I wear a t-shirt and jeans am I not as beautiful as someone who wears a short dress and high heels? NO...not in our society. According to Howard Zinn, author of "A People's History of the United States", it all started back in the 50's when women were told, maybe not out loud or to their face, but through billboards, advertisements and propaganda, that women should wear makeup, get waxed, get their hair done, wear their best when they clean the house, etc.... A couple years ago on a road trip through South Africa, we listened to Howard Zinn's book on cd. His book discussed this issue in detail and it's astounding at what is expected of women and how they've been convinced they aren't "women" unless they do these things. Things like wax all their hair off their body so they are perfectly smooth (smooth for who?), wear makeup, get their hair and nails done, and wear high heels so they look taller and more slender (why do you have to be tall and skinny?). These ideas have been passed down for generations and now we live in a society where women are spending hundreds of dollars on the latest trends which only expose them and make them all look alike. Not to mention the health issue that comes with being a "woman"; sacrificing their feet and backs just so they can look tall and slender by wearing high heels.
So...back to my thought on the abaya. How are we (U.S. society) any different from the men who enforce women to wear a long black robe (abaya)? Are we as American women not being "told" what to wear? No, we are not forced to wear certain clothes and look a certain way, but we are pressured to do so.
Yes, there are differences between the two countries, but when people, especially women, ask me how I can stand wearing the abaya, I have to ask them, "how can you stand wearing what you're wearing?"
No, I will never sport the abaya willingly, but I do understand that no matter what society you come from, there are societal norms and expectations that are to be followed. These expectations and norms for women are created without women's input. As Americans, we've just never thought of it that way...
