Remembering

Over the past couple months, I have spent a lot of time remembering and recalling the years of my childhood, adolescents, and early adulthood. I have spent most my time remembering how my dad was involved in each of these stages. I was truly blessed with an amazing dad and only wish he could be around for the next stages of my life. Here are some (not all or in any particular order) qualities and memories I have of my dad.

*UNCONDITIONAL love; no matter what my sister or I did, he always loved us.

*Gentle-natured.

*Selfless; always thinking of others and how he could make their lives better.

*Loved the game of golf and knew everything about it. Jordan was always shocked at how much information (dates included) he knew about each tournament, golfer, and golf course.

*Picking up pennies. I'm sure many of you had seen my dad picking up pennies wherever he went. He would bend down in this half courtesy position to pick up a penny. I always made fun of him for this, but over the years, he saved up hundreds of dollars by stopping to pick up a penny. =)

*Laughter filled our house. His laugh was contagious and it was heard often.

*Jazz. My dad loved jazz and the sound of the saxophone. This was one thing my parents did not agree on. My mom said it sounded like 'elevator music'. He would just laugh and continue to listen.

*Interest in others. Even in the last days of his life, my dad showed interest in others. He knew every nurse on the 11th floor (cancer floor) and not only did he know their name, but he knew intimate details of their lives. He was curious about people and wanted to get to know them. After my dad passed away, my mom and I visited the 11th floor to say 'thank you' and deliver a funeral program. I knew my dad touched many lives, but I didn't realize how many lives he touched in such a short time. Nurses came out of nowhere and began to cry after realizing my dad had passed. Even Gerta, the janitor, began to cry. For my dad was a man that even got to know the lady that cleaned his room.

*Giving. My dad loved to find gifts/items for people. He frequented thrift shops and rarely came out empty handed. He would pick up basketball books or movies for Jordan, a golf club for a friend that was missing his, a cooking book for me...the list goes on and on. He was always thinking about others. Over the years, my dad gave away so many sets of golf clubs...he always found someone in need of a set.

*The way my dad looked at my mom. My parents were deeply in love. Not many people can spend as much time with their spouse as my parents did. They worked together for 30 years! Not just in the same building, but right next door to each other. I remember coming to Summit to help out in their classrooms and they would even eat lunch together in the teacher's lounge. They drove to school, ate meals together, spent weekends hiking, snowshoeing, seeing movies, hopping from one thrift shop to another, etc.... Needless to say, my parents spent their whole marriage practically inseparable, but my dad always looked at my mom like he was seeing her for the first time. Even until his last day, he would stare into her eyes with such amazement...I can only hope people have a marriage like my parents. What role models they were for me and my sister!

*His smile. My dad wasn't much for grumpiness (not sure if that's a word). No matter how bad his day was or how awful he felt, my dad always had a smile. Just like his laugh, his smile was contagious as well.

*Proud. I know my dad was proud of me. I not only heard it every time I spoke to him or received an email/card, I saw it. He was proud of who I was and who I had become. I never had to doubt his feelings because he was so outspoken about them. At times, this was embarrassing. When I was home in April, I felt so inadequate when arriving at the hospital. When the elevator doors opened to the 11th floor and I found myself trying to find room 1108, I came across a couple nurses that said, "You must be Win's daughter from Africa!" I of course, slightly rolled my eyes because I knew immediately that my dad had been talking about me. In fact, all the nurses and doctors knew who I was once they entered the room...and if that wasn't enough, he still had to brag about me everyday when they came in. I was blessed to know how my dad felt about me and I will continue to make my dad proud!

*Strict when need be. Although I was a good child and didn't get in much trouble {haha}, my dad could be strict. My parents didn't play the "good cop, bad cop" role. When we did something wrong, both my parents showed disappointed and both were in charge of discipling. I never felt like there was one parent to go to and the other to avoid when in trouble. My dad was even gentle when disciplining. I don't remember my dad raising his voice...and because of that, I always trusted him, no matter what I had done.

*Expectations. My dad had realistic expectations of me and wanted me to be the best person I could be; no matter what that looked like. He did not expect me to fulfill his childhood dreams/goals, but allowed me to be who/what I wanted to be. Because he didn't have unrealistic expectations of me, I never felt that he was disappointed in me. I never wondered if he was proud of me. He expected me to be happy...and I am.

*Loved to vacuum. My dad wore out the carpet with all his vacuuming. He cleaned at least 5 times a week and enjoyed it. He wouldn't let any of us touch that vacuum.

*Chart House. My dad loved this restaurant. Over the years, we visited more than 15 different Chart Houses across the nation. Anytime we went on vacation, he would look to see if there was a Chart House nearby.

*Loyal.

*Valentines. My dad always got me a single red rose for Valentines day. He would bring it home after work and I remember how special that made me feel.

I have many more memories of my dad, but these are some of the memories I had tonight.

~Jess